1. Where did I thrive?

I had to think about this a lot because it was a hard year for me financially. But I spent the first half of 2025 specializing in working with vegans, and I worked with eight, two of whom I deepened relationships with after launching their book campaigns to vegan media.

I also took an opportunity as the new writer for A Little Bit Culty that landed in my lap. It taught me that I can coordinate podcast production.

I also started working on my memoir, the idea for which continues to pivot, but for now I have a solid idea of what kind of book it’ll be.

2. Where did I struggle?

After my six-month experiment with vegan clients, I thought business would be back to usual starting in July, but it proved even harder to find clients. I also got feedback that my brand was confusing, and that picking a lane (i.e. services for authors as the book whisperer) would be best.

So I changed my website and all my content in the fall, but still didn’t get any new clients. I lost the book project I was hoping to edit and format since spring 2024. There is still a chance I might get to format the interior and/or help the authors with IngramSpark. Had I not had the extra time, I would not have launched my course for authors in November. So there was a silver lining to this.

I borrowed money from my mom to pay my bills, which I absolutely hate to do. I love (and miss) my independence.

All the financial stress that continued from last year manifested physically on December 19 in the form of a knee flare-up. I went from running/working out 5x/week to walking slowly and being unable to squat or bend properly. I thought a lot about how I’m repeating my dad’s patterns and that this is the Universe’s warning to me that I have to deal with my stress or I’m going to get arthritis.

I was curious and Googled the spiritual meaning of left knee pain and arthritis, and what came up was BANG ON in terms of what’s going on in my life financially and emotionally.

On Christmas Eve, I bought myself a compression sleeve to use on my knee because I remembered my dad always wearing one when he was physically mobile. But after wearing it for a few hours at a time each day, it felt like things had gotten worse on Friday, the 26th! So I went back to just hot bath/compression and ice pack therapy for treatment.

My knee is healing, but it will probably be at least two weeks before I can run again.

3. Who was important in my life and why?

Leo and I played many monthly game nights at Sarah’s with my cousin, nephew and niece. I learned how to play Filipino mahjong, Carcassonne, and even the Plants Against Veganity deck Sarah bought me for Christmas in 2024.

I’m so grateful not just for the quality family time but for the brain exercises…I started to feel not as smart if we were away for too long!

I spent time with my dad on Wednesdays and even though I didn’t work much with vegans the last half of the year (also because of the closure of Vegan Business Tribe), I remain happy to know/follow a lot of amazing vegans doing the good work and sharing what’s important.

Leo and his mom became my heroes this year when my MIL paid off our mortgage. We still plan to pay her back, but at least we aren’t paying interest to a bank.

Here’s my fav photo of the year: Leo winning Filipino mahjong after his very first round.

4. What lesson am I grateful to have learned?

I could probably say this 15 different times, but it all boils down to learning how capable I am. I can and I must sustain myself independently. There will always be people willing to support me, but I have to be self-sufficient and make at least minimum wage (ideally, living wage) or else I will not be well.

Last week, I learned my body will break down on me if I don’t get emotionally well soon. And I can’t afford to get arthritis and/or Parkinson’s like my dad.

Also, I have so many skills that are valuable. The challenge is, people have limited attention spans and they can only remember one. So, I must find, attract, and persuade people who will pay me for multiple skills.

I paid almost $70 for a coaching session around summer I didn’t think was very valuable, but what I learned from this coach was that if you’re not speaking, you should be networking.

So I went to a virtual connect at The Forum almost every month, attended networking sessions put on by Canadian Women’s Chamber of Commerce (not just for women!) which I’d joined earlier in the year, and showed up to learn/get advice from Athena Collective, which I joined in August.

I also jumped into a few free networking events put on by Soul Professional and Building Her Dream (for introverted female entrepreneurs). I was reminded that networking is all about relationships and the fastest way to build relationships is to go deep. I went to A LOT of in-person and online networking events this year, and these were the two groups that surprised and reminded me about what’s important in business.

I will not be doing a keynote talk anytime soon, but I could probably do better to pitch myself as a guest on book-related podcasts.

When you run a business, the extra work you have to do compared to 9 to 5ers is NETWORK and SPEAK. I love networking and being a guest on podcasts, but I hate speaking at events!

5. Where and how was I courageous?

Part of why this year was so financially stressful is that my mom lent/gave a lot of money to my adult brother, and I felt I deserved it more. Not out of nowhere, but because everything I’d done in my childhood was for my parents to be proud of me. She also gave $1000 to one of her extended nieces, who is supposedly starting a nursing program in Halifax.

While I have mostly been happy at work, I don’t feel like my parents ever rewarded me for the work I invested in during childhood. And how could they? They didn’t invest in their own retirements nor our college tuitions (until my brother got $12K from my mom to pay for his audio engineering program).

In the summer, I drafted a whole script before calling my mom to have what I thought would be a serious conversation. I was honest, and even though I don’t think my mom really understood how hurt I was, I’m proud of myself for making that phone call. It’s a muscle I will probably have to flex more in the coming years.

The day I lost the big book project, I cried for about 5 minutes while meditating. I got the energy out, wiped my tears, and channelled my anger into my course, getting it up within two weeks.

I also posted about my dream client on LinkedIn and will probably need to make this an annual thing depending on how work goes.

I usually don’t pick words/phrases of the year, but this year was “radical honesty” and when I think about that, I didn’t act nor call people out on it. I had friends lie to my face and family members treat me like crap. I also withheld feelings from Leo because I don’t think it’s his responsibility to be my therapist. But all the withholding can take a physical toll.

So I might start practicing more radical honesty, even just to see what happens. It doesn’t necessarily mean other people will start to be more honest or pay attention to what I say, but it might catch them off guard and make them think about what they’ve said or done.

6. What brought me joy?

1. Game nights at Sarah’s
2. Seeing photos of my 18-month-old nephew, Trey
3. Watching TV and singing songs with my dad
4. Watching really good TV and stand-up comedy with Leo

Even though my friends and I didn’t go on a summer trip this year, our Christmas party was epic. It’s amazing that we have kept this annual tradition going for nearly a quarter century, and now my friends’ kids are involved.

Here are my neblings: Allan, our water polo player; Chantal, our wild gamer; and Trey, Kamloops boy who can now walk.

Group photo by Melissa Magtang

7. How did I treat my body, heart, spirit, and mind?

BODY: After going to physio for my injured shoulder in December 2024, I continued to do exercises until it was finally healed in April. I stopped trying to do chin-ups on our bar and instead hung for 30 seconds a couple of times at the monkey bars in the playground.

Instead of pushing my body to get stronger this year, I focused on maintaining strength and cardio.

I switched from algae-based omega-3 to ahiflower-based as I was feeling some irregular heartbeats. I learned from Geoff Palmer that algae could be bad for the heart. So far the weird heartbeats haven’t stopped, but they also haven’t gotten worse.

HEART: Every year I will need to learn how to be kinder to myself. Being kind to others is easy, but I had so much negative self-talk this year because of what I earned (or rather, didn’t earn). It’s so hard not to measure myself by what I earn, and my mind knows this is irrational because everyone has worthy talents and skills, even if we don’t get paid for them.

This month, Lasse Joergensen invited me to take part in some free heart coherence sessions put on by called “The Future Self Experience.” These have taught me how to connect to my future self and that there’s no sense putting myself down in the present.

Inspired by a colleague, Alicia Bernbaum, I created my first AI-generated image using Gemini: me hugging my younger self! This reminded me of a meditation exercise that Madeleine Shaw had volunteers do when she put on G Day for Girls, which ended when the pandemic hit. Just as I would want to be kind to my younger self, I also have to be kind to myself now.

SPIRIT: While I continued my normal routine of prayers-affirmation-meditation in the morning and journalling at night, I could have probably connected more to spirit and my future/higher self.

I thought about what my grandparents went through during WWII in November, and the fact that what I’m going through is a piece of cake in comparison. It would benefit me to connect with them more. I relearned the meaning of their names: God-given, light, free man, miracle.

I didn’t do as much reflection on my Human Design and Gene Keys compared to last year, so it’s about time I revisit all this again.

MIND: While I was mentally stimulated and satisfied with most of the work I did this year and always read at least two books at a time, my critical mind beat out my creative mind big time. And that is an unfair fight.

Creativity is always the solution to hard times, and it took me almost the entire year to learn this.

As I let go of my vegan blog content starting in 2026, I’ll also stop doing book review blogs after February so I can focus all my blog content on authors.

8. How did I show up for the people I care about?

I can’t remember now if all my loved ones had birthday celebrations, but if they did, I don’t think I missed any.

With my financial situation, I couldn’t be at every gathering, but I also donated during the Lapu-Lapu Day tragedy in April that happened just six blocks from my house, and to Canadian Red Cross last month for typhoon relief in the Philippines.

I even donated to the animals through Animal Justice‘s Holiday Party. I gave away a book copy and won a gift card in their silent auction.

This year I mentored two women through The Forum, one of whom was the first mentee who completed the program with me, and another who taught me I had the skills to become a structural editor, after I’d referred a bunch of potential structural editing clients to someone else!

I also met one of our Toronto-based members at VEG Networking Canada because he was in town, and I organized a small in-person meetup with him at Mila before it closed.

A member asked me what my goals for the network were, and I basically said to keep existing and being there for vegan founders/professionals. (We also don’t charge a membership fee.) Vegan Business Tribe is no more, and the other vegan networks that exist are inaccessible for various reasons.

It made me proud of what Justin and I do on the side of our desks and how just being there for people still matters.

9. What situations triggered fear or discomfort? Did I move through them? If so, how? If not, why not?

1. Not getting enough clients
2. Seeing my mom spend her money on my brother

This entire year helped me refine what my memoir is going to be, at least for now. I started getting triggered watching shows like Black Rabbit (a limited series starring Jason Bateman and Jude Law) and How to Get Rich (hosted by financial entrepreneur, podcast host, and author Ramit Sethi), which reminded me of a conversation I had with a financial advisor colleague back in Spring.

He advised me to take all the funds in my universal life insurance policy and TFSAs and use a robo-advisor platform so I’d stop paying high MER (management expense ratio) fees to my current financial advisor. As I had two life insurance policies, I moved my UL funds to my TFSAs and thought that was good enough—until I saw Ramit tell a woman she was getting ripped off by her advisor in How to Get Rich.

After a very frustrating LinkedIn post and its conflicting responses, I decided to start reading all the financial books on my shelf (I’ve finished 1 of 3) and get re-educated before deciding on what to do with the funds in my TFSAs. According to ChatGPT, I may not even be able to move them without contacting my advisor about my options.

I should probably have a financial therapist starting next year, but I have to make some money to afford one because Leo’s benefits probably won’t be enough to cover the service.

Around that time I also posted angrily on Facebook about a colleague who was offering a secret podcast, but who had never sent it to me after I commented on their Facebook post. I didn’t name them in the post, but they saw it and messaged me. “I saw your post. Sorry I missed your comment. I’m surprised you decided to post publicly like that instead of just asking me…I thought we were kind of friends?”

I removed the post, apologized, and deleted Facebook from my phone until very recently. It reminded me how much I hate Facebook and want to leave that platform because almost everything people post there triggers me. And I need to stop posting out of emotion.

Even though I can’t stop my mom from doing what she wants with her money, I can always ask for help. What’s tricky about finding a mentor is I don’t know where money is going to come from in the next couple of months. I’m marketing my author services heavily, but I’m also going to learn to sound edit audio & video podcasts and books so I can have another revenue stream.

I thought back to an intuitive reading my friend Lindsay gave me on Lunar New Year, and she said something along the lines of supporting powerful people because I am one myself.

I’m certain I won’t become a celebrity, and I sure AF don’t want to be a content creator, but being someone else’s #1 really stuck with me. All the skills I have amassed in my career can be used to build someone else’s. And I could make six-figures being a great #1 to two people.

This month I attended the last networking event of the year hosted by the Canadian Women’s Chamber of Commerce, which resulted in me getting some advice on my SEO and a free website audit, which was AMAZING. (Schedule a chat with Ina Maria Toncescu at noLMIT Marketing!)

I felt fired up after that session and wished I had done it at the start of 2025 instead of at the end.

10. Which rituals and habits served me well, and which ones didn’t?

Even though I should have been in therapy this year, my morning meditations saved me. I reminded myself that tapping (EFT) was something I hadn’t done in a while that could have probably helped with my worrying and when I lost expected revenue.

I also started a new habit of playing The New York Times’ Wordle on weekdays, and sometimes an online version of Boggle between projects. One intuitive reading I had this year said that I needed to play more, which I had ignored most of the year. So even if it’s computer games, I am learning to play more in my life.

I continued to smoke weed on weekends, but am thinking of stopping in 2026, at least for a while, so that I stop feeling the anxiety that the high comes with. It might make me crave snacks less, but that’s also a good thing.

My worrying habit obviously hasn’t served me well, and I’ll likely continue to work on this for the rest of my life.

I suggested the Vancouver Public Library bring in copies of Chantel Chapman’s The Trauma of Money, and it did! I am reading the ebook now and have learned SO MUCH about financial trauma and stress, continuing what I had learned earlier in the year about financial anxiety and abuse.

If I know I’m publishing my memoir, I’m going to ask Chantel to endorse it. She lives in Vancouver, too!

If you made it this far, I wish you the reflection and insight this time of year brings, and all the best for 2026.

Click here to read my 10 Questions to Reflect on 2024.

Header photo: Tosha Lobsinger

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