This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!

Dusting off present pains and being comfortable in the stretch — because the pain’s only in the now.

It’s been a helluva week and I feel like I’ve grown a whole lot. I had a fantastic birthday weekend, and it was very necessary because I brought on three new people to the team this week, and I started to recognize I was juggling a whole lot more than what I’m used to. But I realized just on Tuesday that even though I was not crossing off all the things I wanted to do this week (which is a LOT), I have to give myself some slack.

Last Fall, I stretched myself by bringing on two new team members and that felt alright because we all use Slack (seriously, thank god for this technology.) and our projects were pretty straightforward. My team members are just getting used to the flow of work and settling into steady hours, while I’ve sort of pushed them out to sea with client work and hope that they can learn to steer their own boats. This is how I like to lead because super micro managing doesn’t benefit anyone.

I started to feel some sickness symptoms but I kept telling my body, I can handle it! Just let me try! Because I like to think I’m mentally stronger than what this little vessel can tolerate. Yes, I’m pushing and yes I’m way outside of my comfort zone. But I can see things – not even very far out – becoming very smooth, like the same well-oiled machine that I built at the Vancouver Short Film Festival after a few years as captain of both the volunteer staff and the Board. Things are very scary at the beginning, but they always get easier. And then you have to scare yourself again.

Mastin Kipp has been coming my way lately and talking about fear as a compass and making sure that you’re upping your own game, not in comparison to others. Three years ago, I would have never imagined myself running a team of three, so I am impressed with myself. And I want to build a culture of managers so that I can spend even more time on side projects in development and on building our client base so we can have more impact. So I’m not even scaring myself quite there yet.

I also think as we grow and expand that it’s important to be in flow and to go back to what’s familiar to keep us grounded: Family, friends, coaches, home, routines (sleep is good!), old colleagues. I feel like despite all the changes that are happening, it’s nice to have these familiar and tangible things to remind us of where we were and how much we are stretching. I think to the episode of Friends, “The One That Could Have Been,” in which all the characters act out alternate lives. Instead of being a hippie massage therapist, Phoebe lives out her abandoned Wall Street career and then suffers a heart attack. None of us are meant to push that hard!

Have you been stretching yourself scary lately and feeling the growth?

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