This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!
Learning to accept and love my inner power
I caught myself judging myself today. I also noticed on Monday, after not seeing my weekly friendship group in a couple of weeks, that there was a lot of chatter going on and that although it would have been nice to be asked my opinion, I really didn’t feel like sharing anyway. I was afraid that I would be judged on the fact that I was content with just listening. How bizarre is that?
It could be because at some point in school, I stopped raising my hand and just waited to be called on for answers. I didn’t want to be the keener anymore. Being a know-it-all (or at least someone who volunteered answers) was not cool. So shutting up and not being seen became my comfort zone. In University, discussing was part of our grade in most classes, and I was petrified each time I thought of something to say and said it. And look how I am doing now, struggling to get my voice out again. If only I knew the time and effort I could have saved by not shutting myself up!
On Tuesday, I had a Skype chat with an eWomenNetwork member from Texas who is very much in the public eye. I was a bit intimidated to speak with her, and once our conversation started she really helped me to feel at ease and allowed me to open up. It felt very natural, and nice to be asked what else I do outside of business. I realized that introverts – when given the opportunity – do have a chance to shine, and not any brighter than the A type extroverts.
Last night I listened to a UBC Dialogue on finding solutions to child poverty in B.C. I was considering skipping the event because of the rain and other suffering excuses, but I stuck through it, and I’m so glad I did. I noticed myself thinking how smart all of those panelists were, and how I would probably seem so inarticulate if I was ever to be on a panel like that. There’s that voice again. How horrible! Even though I did not have a question or anything super important to say, I felt gratitude to just be there and absorb the knowledge of others. I think that there is huge power in simply carrying knowledge and being able to analyze it for ourselves.
I have also been continuing to chant the mantra (“Om gang shreeng maha lakshmi yei namaha”) in celebration of Lakshmi; today is Day Five of Temple of Lakshmi’s program. Whether in my head or in the quiet of my office alone, it is a good feeling to think that even my whisper of a prayer might join that of others around the world and be sent up a to a higher place to benefit us all.
How do you celebrate your own quietude and inner power? How has it helped you in times when you might not have felt as powerful?
