This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!
How I discovered my own self-sabotaging ways
Probably not the most positive way to start a blog post, but truly in the darkness there is light at the end!
I felt a big breakthrough after a discussion with Leo on Tuesday night (the third of the most heated ones I have counted) and had a big a-ha into why I feel I need to be heard or agreed with whenever he and I discuss topics that aren’t very clear cut.
I realized that sometimes I am just not listening, and that I can make a mountain out of what should probably be a molehill type of conversation (but those are boring, aren’t they?). And I realized it was not Leo’s fault for giving me feedback about my communication and listening skills (feedback is good!); it was me reacting negatively. It wasn’t easy to figure out, especially feeling in a wounded state, but I tried to imagine what it would be like if we had these kinds of conversations for the rest of our lives (which is how long we plan to stick with each other!). And I felt like each time we disagreed, it meant we were getting closer to the end of our relationship, which isn’t true at all. And I just had a very big fear of it ending, because he means a lot to me.
Sometimes it is hard to take in what you don’t want to. But if you listen inward, the answers are there. They were there for me, and they gave me a greater appreciation for Leo, who expressed – in a way that men rarely do – that he would love me even if we spent our lifetimes disagreeing. Now that’s a keeper!
Seeing your own negative projections can result in great shifts in perspectives. We all have them, and sometimes they stop us from experiencing ourselves and each other more fully and deeply, the way we are supposed to as humans. I urge you to explore your own projections, especially as the year comes to a close and we approach the opportunity to begin anew. If you need some support in this, I would be more than happy to help you by sharing the tools I have learned this past year or so.