This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!
On trying to be content in the present
Sometimes I feel like I was born pissed off.
I am working a lot on trying to change my emotions, but it is tough to undo a good 30 years of feeling what you are used to feeling.
I wasn’t always a pissed off kid, but I was shy and thus felt understood much of the time. Which led me to develop natural looks like the one above at about 2 years old.
I had a meeting yesterday and I tried to go into it pumped and full of energy. And I left – as I usually leave these meetings – feeling drained and down about how much more work I was just asked to do. And I remembered that no… this is not how I want to feel all of the time.
If I wasn’t doing this work, I would be bored as hell, or doing terribly at another job. So I love my work and I have to remind myself of that. I do not love it every second of every moment. I think that is a difficult thing to do and while not impossible, I realize I have not developed the emotional fortitude required to feel that joy constantly. I am sure you can relate, if not about work, about other areas of your life.
I am telling myself that once the next 2.5 weeks are over, I can sit on my meditation pillow and do a good hour of soul searching, even though I should probably do that immediately. But instead I will try and focus on being okay in the now. I believe that sometimes staying in the mud can teach us some valuable things about how beautiful the muddy place can be.
Are you not being fully present and choosing your emotions in the present moment?