This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!
Yesterday I had a big a-ha about my fear of failure. I have been raised to not only feel good to achieve, but to overachieve as well. After all, if you go above average, doesn’t that make you happier?
One area in my life that is not as easy for me to achieve than others might is expressing happiness. People usually think I am mad or something is bothering me when that is my natural facial expression. I got this feedback yesterday, and it reminded me of my inability to express that happiness. I also realized that my happiness is tied to results rather than the journey or process to achievement. And this brought on a lot of sadness.
Thanks to class, I was able to address this fear of unhappiness and realized it is another thing I am afraid of failing at. I want to be okay with failure. I want to be friends with it.
So in this #TBT I list some of the things that I am happy I failed at, because they have ultimately taught me something and made me the person I am today.
- Reaching that high note when my mom wanted me to perform a Christmas carol in front of my family. I always disliked performing when forced to, so I am glad I failed at this.
- Trying out for the basketball team in Grade 6. Having felt for two years what my fear held me back from, I tried out in Grade 8 and made the team as Manager, which was a much better fit for me than a player.
- Getting my first C+ on a test in Chemistry 12. It taught me that I am okay with not knowing material.
- Getting my first C on an exam in University. It taught me that even though I think my material is better than that, not everyone agrees with my opinion.
- Being a good sister and daughter. We aren’t born good out of the womb, so it’s only natural that we become better people with trial and error.
- Working in environments where I wasn’t happy. You can only test your thresholds for so long until they break. Now I have a better intuition for this.
- Trying to be a business owner I wasn’t. Being a fashion publicist requires a great obsession with fashion and an eye for trends. I’m thankful I realized this wasn’t for me after a while, and created a brand that was more aligned with my personal values.
- Sales. You don’t get to have clients each time you ask for a sale. So this is something I consistently fail at and work on in my business.
Are you happy that you’ve consistently failed in an area?