This is an archived blog from when I ran Conscious Public Relations Inc. from 2008-2018. Excuse the potential outdated-ness!
This past long weekend I spent an extended period of time with my own thoughts given that Leo was out of town. It was an interesting time to go within and challenge myself in terms of seeing if I could control my emotional behaviour simply with my thoughts and feelings.
On Friday I tried the Float House in Gastown, which allows you to literally float in an enclosed tank of salt water for 90 minutes. By removing most of your senses (it is pitch black inside) it allows one to relax, meditate, and anything else you could possibly do with only your thoughts.
Once I entered the tank and noticed it was completely dark, there was a slight moment of panic and fear of being trapped – but once I realized there really is nothing to do but float, I began concentrating on visualizing my future. It was very hard to focus on one thing or situation, because in that amount of time my mind was jumping, but about 45 mins in my entire body was fully relaxed and I was nearly napping around the middle, until I was alerted again at around the 1:15 mark and at that point directed my thoughts upward to my spiritual guides and angels. It was a good way to end; I think my mind was pretty restless and started awaking the rest of my body as the soothing music signalling the end of session began playing. I would highly recommend a float for anyone looking to deepen their relaxation or meditation practice, or simply escape from the noise of life without taking a nap.
Saturday I did a whole day of classes and began thinking how much I rely on others’ positive perceptions or approval of me to feel good about myself. Sound familiar? Yup, in many ways that teenage “fitting in” phase has not fully gone away, only evolved. I started thinking that if I can concentrate on being at peace and content with myself and the present, I can start to unfocus so much on others’ opinions of me. Taking compliments is one thing, but measuring or defining myself against others’ opinions or accomplishments is futile. Even if we tried we could not please everyone and can never know what everyone is thinking or even if what they say is true. When someone tells you they know you better than you know yourself, it is bullshit. Only you can know yourself best. I am still discovering who I am, and it is amazing when I find out the reasoning behind certain behaviours.
Sunday I tried out my first service at Unity Vancouver, which is a spiritual community without ties to any religion. It was nice to be welcomed and experience their rituals for myself. I had a great meditation which was probably 25 minutes but felt more like an hour. I spent the rest of the day with my family and rewatching Season 5 of Breaking Bad, which begins its final 8 episodes next Sunday. It is one of my favourite shows of all time and I love the characters’ journeys. Highly recommend if you aren’t too bothered by a story involving drugs and violence. It really is about much more than that.
Monday I went for coffee with another conscious business owner from Calgary; it was nice to get to know someone with similar values. One of my best friends of 26 years came out as transgendered, and I am so proud of his courage and honesty. He is a person who could live life based on what is easier for others to accept, but is truly living according to his values. I also watched Life of Pi, a visually stunning film exactly about what one learns and experiences in a state of survival accompanied only by a Bengal Tiger.
Leo came back and we ate and watched one more movie with the fam. I would have meditated some more before going to bed but I was spent. This blog post made up for it!
I hope the summer has provided you with some insight into yourself; inner observation really is an amazing practice.